meonmyway2stealurgirl: (Default)
He worries about his soulmate.

He worries not because of the injuries that appear on his own body, though there have been a few that have given him pause (the one spreading across his ribcage had been especially concerning.) He worries not because he thinks the person he's bonded to is any constant state of danger.

He worries because of the injuries that he acquires. Of the danger that he lives in.

His own pain has been, at times, blinding, but at least he knows he deserves it. His soulmate doesn't deserve anything of the sort-- doesn't deserve to be covered in the ugly scars that mar his own self.

His soulmate doesn't deserve him, really, which is why once, when he's drawing the blade against his own skin, he'll leave marks that spell out a shaky 'sorry.'

He can't bring himself to injure himself often, though. He recognizes he inflicts enough pain of his soulmate as it is, so not long after the apology scars, he stops. He smokes and drinks instead, to chase that half-hearted death wish. He'll lose himself in the bodies of others to try to ignore the impulse. He finally finds a way out of his father's house.

He does well enough not getting injured, his soulmate probably thinks he's died. Accidentally getting into a fight probably isn't the most comforting way for the news to get across that he hasn't, but maybe his person will find the blossoming of bruises across his torso and face soothing.

Then again, maybe not.
meonmyway2stealurgirl: (Default)
 He's not upset his father is dead.

All right, that's a bit of a lie. He is upset his father is dead. For all the man hadn't really spared too many thoughts for his son, he hadn't necessarily been cruel, and that had been enough of a difference from Mariettë for him to be feeling upset that his father is dead.

But, at the current moment in time, he's not necessarily upset about that. He's had a little time to be upset about that.

What's most upsetting is the letter he'd found among what physical objects his father had given to him. How he'd been permitted to receive them when Mariettë seemed hell-bent on keeping him from getting anything, he'll never understand. It doesn't really matter, after he's read the letter addressed to him in a woman's vaguely familiar handwriting. 

He wished he hadn't chosen to read it in his room at the Eichelns', because now he was just a few minutes shy of a proper breakdown and he didn't really have the space to properly let it out. (He wants to bleed so badly it burns, but he's done so well. He wants to keep doing well just as much as he wants to hurt.) Instead, after landing a punch against the wall he finds himself in a corner with his knees pulled to his chest. The letter lies at his side and as drags a blade against another stack of paper to avoid pulling it against his skin. His hands shake as he tries and fails to keep his breathing steady; as it lifts into something closer to sobbing gasps despite the lack of tears.

Everything happens so quickly, he doesn't remember to make sure he's locked the door.
meonmyway2stealurgirl: (Default)
 The Reynolds’ aren’t really old old blood to the Deck the way the Eichelns are, but they’re old enough to be established and hypercritical of their heirs’ lives, and incredibly anxious if an heir isn’t on hand. I am absolutely certain Elliot is not the first illegitimate child in the family.

Sitting on it now, I don’t think Tomas/Elliot’s line is the direct/head of the family on, as Tomas would have been much more invested in Elliot’s life had that been the case. I think instead they’re descendants of some younger brother of the primary heir a couple generations back-- still close enough to the main line to carry weight, but not close enough for Elliot to be quite as stifled into the primary Reynolds lifestyle. Tomas was largely occupied with ensuring a stronger position both in the dynamics of the family and within the Spades (hence the push for Mariette to have a son) and that continued when El was born. So he left most of the Elliot-raising to Mariette, which, well.

Mariette wasn’t expecting love when she married Tomas Reynolds, but she was expecting him to, y’know. Be around. But Tomas got disinterested when she didn’t pop out a kiddo soon enough (or a spare, after he decided to keep Elliot) and despite being in the same house, emotionally Mariette was left alone in this big house with this colicky little baby and a few helpers (one of whom was the actual mother of this kid she’s supposed to claim is hers and it. It makes her mean. She was already a little mean before she got married, but all of that made her so much worse, and so Elliot grows up with this absent father who only trots him out to the rest of the family on special occasions, this woman he thinks is his mother who is steadily growing to hate him, and his one spot of sunshine is their cook (his actual mother) who lets him hide in the kitchen and watch her make things, but she’s gone by the time he’s 8.

Nadia McAlister was (she died; I’m deciding it now) a really sweet young woman and Three who got a job a little out of her depth when she came to work at the Reynolds’. For a while, things were decent, but once Mariette and Tomas started sleeping in separate rooms it went a little downhill. Nadia was half-seduced, half-spooked into sleeping with Tomas and then suddenly she’s pregnant and terrified she’s going to lose her job. Except Tomas cares about her in the only incredibly messed up way he can, and he can’t help but see this as a chance.

So Nadia gets taken care of throughout her pregnancy by the Reynolds’ doctor and gets an open door policy to stay at the house if she needs it and gets to keep her job even after the baby’s born, and it’s okay. She doesn’t get to keep her baby or tell him he’s hers (she would have named him Michael, after her grandfather, and he has her cheekbones even if he has his father’s eyes) but she sees him every day and gets to talk to him and take care of him the best she can with Mariette watching her like a hawk. Tomas only comes around a couple times after Elliot’s born to try for a spare, but she has better excuses this time and he stops looking at her after a while, so that’s fine. It’s honestly a life she would have been content to bear until Elliot was 15, but then she gets sick and the doctors tell her she isn’t going to get better.

She leaves a letter for Elliot for Tomas to give to him when he turns 15 (he doesn’t; Elliot doesn’t see it until Tomas is dead way too many years later and he’s given what few things Tomas left to him that Mariette didn’t get the chance to burn.) Her last thoughts were of when she said goodbye to her son; holding him tight as she can and murmuring an I love you he doesn’t hear against his hair while he does his best not to cry. Her last words are Elliot and Michael.

Elliot doesn’t remember much of his birth mother, but when he does he remembers a kitchen. A smile. A feeling of being absolutely safe.

meonmyway2stealurgirl: (the girl is mine)
 Elliot doesn't know how in the world he was able to be this lucky.

He's finally dating the man he's spent two lifetimes loving. There's not threat of losing said man to any revolution. He's got the chance to keep seeing a young woman he's starting to realize he needs almost as much as the man he's loved.

It's been interesting to navigate, but, amazingly, it's worked. He's been allowed to fall asleep being held by Edgar. He's been allowed to kiss Rachel in the afternoons.

Much like he is now, really, though they've moved well past just kissing into something decidedly more heated. Edgar will likely notice the familiar sounds of the two having a heavy makeout session from the living room when he gets home.

Sounds which will quiet just a little when they hear the door shut. There'll be soft murmurs, after that; a hint of faint giggle from Rachel. 

Then, Elliot will appear in search of his boyfriend, hair a positive mess and his shirt long gone. Rachel will be follow only a hint tentatively behind him, hickeys starting to blossom on her neck and her skirt clearly ruffled.

She'll duck in against Elliot's side when they finally find Edgar, and his hand will wrap around her hip possessively even as his eyes light up to see his boyfriend again.

"Hey, Ed." There's no mistaking the love in his voice at the greeting, "'ve a question for you."
meonmyway2stealurgirl: (classy)
He has to pinch himself, when he first wakes up.

He has to pinch himself because there's a warmth at his side, and turning to study the source of that warmth reveals a sleeping, familiar face. For more than a few moments, he's certain he's still drunk or dreaming or hallucinating.

But he pinches himself and there's actual pain, and lying here stunned has the memories of the night before finally coming back.

He'd told the love of his life that he loved him and hadn't been pushed away. He'd been allowed to kiss him. He'd been allowed to stay the night and share a bed with the most wonderful man in the world.

The wave of insecurity follows quickly in the wake of his joy. The other man had been intoxicated. Maybe waking up would have him hating him again-- would have him realizing just how little he was worthy of being in the light of his presence.

The thoughts leave an ache in his chest. Have him wanting to leave before he has to face that likely scenario-- but a part of him is so entirely drawn in by the pull of this sun that he can't.

He'll eventually resolve himself. Will have slipped out of the bed and be on his way out of the room before the other man starts to stir.
meonmyway2stealurgirl: (expectant)
If he ever gets to heaven, he might just punch God Himself in the face for inventing the idea of soulmates and having their words tattooed upon them. He might even punch Him again, for giving him two soulmates instead of just one.

He might leave Heaven all together, really, for the fact that finding the second had changed the game plan so entirely. What a shame for a person with two soulmates, that he had to lose one to the other.

He doesn't blame Edgar. He can't, and not just because he's his King, now, though that does play a large role. In all honesty, given who he was he probably should have expected something like this.

Even soulmates couldn't be expected to stick around for someone like him, after all. 

He's pacing in his tent when Rachel comes to find him, Edgar in tow. One glance up at his oldest friend's face tells him that his worries about her and Edgar's connection were well-founded. 

Sitting in the chair is heavy, but his expression goes blank at the sight, "You'll be his Queen, of course."


"No, Rachel. This is good, nn? You'll be out of your father's house and he'll get to have at least one of us with him. Better the one people will actually approve of him marrying."

"El." Her voice is soft as she steps away from Edgar to reach out to touch his face. He shakes his head and gets up to put a bit more distance between them, attention on Edgar now.

"You're lucky," he tells him, face still carefully blank, "She's probably the more sensible one of the two of us."
meonmyway2stealurgirl: (the girl is mine)
It's one of the more mysterious aspects of his life, likely. It's not something he's really talked about when he's with Edgar or Rachel, though they do know that being in a band is one of the many things he does when not with them. The group's just starting out, after all, and so they haven't gained quite enough popularity to be Deck-famous, let alone anything else.

So the approaching is an exciting opportunity. Has him holed away to practice without thought for the fact that he usually spends this afternoon with Edgar.

When he comes for him, his boyfriend will be directed towards one of the few musical practice rooms in the Spades, singing.
meonmyway2stealurgirl: (a snake in shadow)
Honestly, he didn't expect they'd come for him.

He'd felt so entirely unwanted, after all. He'd felt so absolutely uncared for. He'd felt very much like a disappointment that they'd be glad to get rid of.

But Tomas Reynolds is apparently not letting go of his heir so easily, and Mariëtte Reynolds is apparently still just enough under her husband's thumb to have to be the one to try to fetch the boy.

Really, Tomas couldn't have made a bigger mistake. If he'd come himself, Elliot might actually have considered it.

As it is, a little over a week since he left his parents' home, a knock comes at the door of the Eicheln apartment during the early evening hours. Elliot, whose room is closest to the door, will call out that he'll get it before going to do so.

He's still Spade enough to check who it is before opening it. Later, he'll be glad he did, because he could have easily have been taken with barely a fight had his mother surprised him.

As it is, recognizing the woman on the other side has his voice tight as he calls for the woman who's done her best to protect him from her, "--Ms. Lorraine?"
meonmyway2stealurgirl: (Default)
 He does it almost every time they’re together, is the thing.

Because really, he’s awful at words, particularly the ‘l’ word. It was never really in his vocabulary before now. It was never really something he knew how to verbalize.

So he doesn’t— at least, not very often. 9 times out of 10 it’s Edgar saying it first, if it’s said at all, and even then Elliot doesn’t always respond by actually saying the word.

But he says it in other ways. He says it in the way his fingers curl into Edgar’s hair. He says it in the way he lets the other young man see and touch his scars. He says it every time he lingers closer after a bout of passion instead of retreating from his lover’s arms.

He says it with the smaller words; like “Yes,” or “I’ll stay,” murmured soft against Edgar’s skin.

meonmyway2stealurgirl: (Default)
 It’s so easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment. Goodness knows Edgar has been plenty of times before, and that Elliot has had more than his fair share of pushing himself too far because he’d gotten caught up in the passion of things.

It feels like it’s going that way again, tonight. Feels very much like it’s going to go even farther than it already has, if Edgar’s honest with himself.

Forcing himself to draw back when his fingers start to fumble at the other young man’s zipper is important. It’s absolutely necessary to look Elliot in the eyes.

"D’you— wanna do this?" Edgar asks, unable to keep his thumb from hooking into the Spades’ belt loop.

Elliot nods. It seems just a little too fast, but he says, “Yeah, ‘s— ‘s okay.”

“‘m not asking if it’s okay, El,” he replies, holding the fairer man’s gaze firmly, “‘m asking— do you want to?”

Yes.” Elliot tangles his fingers in his hair, tugs Edgar into a hard kiss as he murmurs the answer, “Yes, Ed. I want to.”

Edgar’s laugh is rough with desire as he kisses him back, “‘s— great, Elliot. Me, too.”

It’s important for them both to want to, after all. Important to keep affirming it as their bodies curl together for the remainder of the night.

meonmyway2stealurgirl: (classy)
He's started to get better at seeking help. He hasn't quite gotten good at not getting into situations where he's in need of it, but at least the desire to seek out assistance must be a good step.

Still, though, turning up on the Eichelns' doorstep with a black eye, a split lip, and a packed bag might not entirely be ideal.

"Can I... stay for a bit?"
meonmyway2stealurgirl: (puff of smoke)
 "Thought we were talkin' about Rachel."
meonmyway2stealurgirl: (a snake in shadow)
They've gotten past the point where having his scars touched makes him freeze up. They've gotten past the point where he's started to answer, when they ask-- with or without words-- where certain scars come from.

The ones on his back, though, are ones he's always been a bit more reticent about discussing. They've been the ones that he still needs a little bit of warning for if they're being touched more intentionally than they are in the heat of the moment.

Like now, when there are gentle fingers tracing curiously along the lines. He takes a deep breath to steel himself before the words finally slip out.

"My mother isn't-- actually my mother."
meonmyway2stealurgirl: (puff of smoke)
 He never meant for this to become something that happened with any relative frequency. He thought it'd be the one kiss, and that would be it.

But one kiss had turned into another kiss, another day, had turned into more than one kiss at once, had turned into him kissing her goodbye every time he dropped her off, had turned into dropping her off taking longer because of the kisses.

And he finds he doesn't mind it, as long as they don't give it a name. Finds that he's perfectly okay with pressing her softly against the wall of the Clubs Castle so long as they never say it's going to happen again.

But, then again, whether they do it once or multiple times, there is still the trouble of them being caught.

At least it's in her Suit and not his. 

meonmyway2stealurgirl: (the girl is mine)
The first time Elliot Reynolds sees Rachel Caustello after six years, he doesn't recognize her. She had been a tag-a-long six-year-old the last time he'd laid eyes on her. Now, all these years later, the petite redhead that is coldly introduced to her uncle's victims students has all the makings of a young woman. When he looks at her, Elliot thinks fire, and his mouth tastes of ash as he reminds himself how unlikely it is she, the soft Clubs, will last in this sharp, Spade world.

He tries to remind himself of this as she starts to join them more often, tries not to let himself feel a thing as he watches her beaten down, tries not to internally cheer as he sees her, every time, get back up again.

He'd always thought the worst way to die was to get burned.

And yet, like a moth or like a human fighting for warmth in a dark cold world, he finds himself drawn to the flame.

Read more... )
meonmyway2stealurgirl: (unimpressed)
They've no need to keep secrets from one another.  There aren't, really, any secrets to keep-- so much of their days is spent either in class or with one another, after all. There isn't much one could say that the other doesn't already know, and anything that is said is usually a pleasant surprise.

Except this time, what Rachel had to tell him after she got back from working on her Transfiguration essay was neither something he knew nor a pleasant surprise at all. He'd not openly expressed his displeasure as to the developments with the Gryffindor to her face-- he'd grudgingly noted she seemed actually happy about the change, so he supposed for her sake he'd do his best to bear it.

Which didn't mean that he wasn't going to corner the younger man as soon as he had a moment away from Rachel.

"What the hell are you playing at, Eicheln?"
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